


Amanda Huginkiss

by Amaranthology



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel/Demon Relationship, Crepes, Ducks, Feeling cute might write sex later, Groundhog Day, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, SO MUCH ALCOHOL, Sass, The Ineffable Plan (Good Omens), bowling, prank call, sad gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-16 21:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19326445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amaranthology/pseuds/Amaranthology
Summary: 7 Days after the Armadidn't and the Angel and Demon who tricked the likes of Heaven and Hell are celebrating. But they say karma is a bitch and boy were they right.





	1. Plans

**Author's Note:**

> I have never actually published a fic... I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing. Please leave lots of advice to the listening ducks in the comments. They have ears you know. Many more chapters coming if you like. No Beta so all of these errors are truly mine.

They hadn’t spoken since they dined at The Ritz. But they were approaching the 7th day from when they had beat the devil, heaven, and hell and came out on top. It seemed only fitting to them both to meet up for a commemorative drink at their usual location in the eastern office of the book shop.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale started tentatively as he heard the sound of the demon's voice on the other side of the telephone. He was still struggling with recognizing the difference between Crowley and his phone answer system. But this time he was met with a noncommittal greeting.

“Yeah?” Crowley said sounding as though he had just woken up, which of course he had. After dining at The Ritz he retreated to his bed and had only just roused 6 days later.

“I say my dear would you like to come to partake in some libations tomorrow to celebrate our victory?” he said weakly smiling through his tone.

“Special occasion?” Crowley said sitting up now and rubbing his eyes.

“Crowley it’s been 6 days since we… You know…” Aziraphale suggested.

“Oh… oh right. Sure Angel. Regular time?” He replied finally finding his footing.

“Yes, quite,” Aziraphale said hearing the click that most certainly meant he had been hung up on.

With a glance at the antique phone and a small huff of annoyance he placed the receiver down and shuffled a nearby book nervously. 

Aziraphale hadn’t heard anything from Head Office and considering that Crowley seemed to have been asleep all week he hadn’t either. Their ruse had worked for at least the time being and given what an extended schedule both offices worked on he hoped that they would have a few hundred years of peace at least.

***

Crowley, on the other hand, was still struggling to find himself since waking up. He hadn’t even stood from where he sat on the edge of the bed before snapping his fingers and covering himself in what was his personal niche style. Black from head to tie with a pop of red and his ever-present snakeskin boots. It had been a few years since he’d changed his hair or clothes and he suspected he had maybe 5 to 10 years left before the next major shift. Having to keep up with the times was getting exhausting. The advent of the Internet had meant a constant stream of fashion was moving across the world and taking away the idea of basic classic apparel. 

He rubbed his face absently before standing up and heading into the room where he kept his plants. After being asleep for 6 days he was sure they would need to be fed and watered but if they knew what was good for them they would have used up some of their stored supplies to stay lush and supple.

Silently he gazed at every leaf tilting his head from side to side making sure he didn’t miss any of the presented foliage. The plants were as always perfection. He considered small praise but feared that all of his hard work could be undermined if he gave them a soft tone now. So instead he remained silent as he went about their maintenance with the water bottle he had just a few short days before threatened Hastur with. It seemed like millennia since that day while simultaneously smelling as fresh as yesterday. But that's when he realized that in fact the smell was lingering from the melted bucket of demon goo left by Ligur on the floor.

“Never getting that mark off the floor,” he said with what you might have called a tut had it come from Aziraphale. 

Crowley collapsed into his chair at the desk and pulled a pair of sunglasses from the top drawer and put them on. He found himself sulking a bit as he miracled away what was left of Ligur and then headed out his front door. He knew what he needed and the Bentley was there waiting for him. His keys were already miraculously in his pocket and he removed them and slid into the driver's side seat with practiced ease that only came with decades of practice.

The car roared to a start and seemed to ignite the fire he was struggling to find after a prolonged hibernation. He sped through London much faster than should have been possible managing to miss other vehicles and pedestrians alike. He didn’t know where he was headed but when he looked up and saw Aziraphale’s shop he clenched his jaw and sped off again. He’d see him tomorrow no point in stopping in now. When he finally looked up again he was outside of St. James’s park and as he turned off the car a bag of oats appeared in the passenger seat just in time for him to grab as he exited. 

The park was mostly quiet except for a few clandestine meetings between government spies. Crowley’s favorite bench was suddenly vacated as he approached interrupting a meeting between what appeared to be a Russian and an American operative. He lazed across the bench taking up even more space than usual as he was here alone for the first time in quite a number of years. It was then that a particularly brave mallard approached him.

“Yeah, I supposed you’ll be wanting this?” Crowley said raising the bag of oats along with an eyebrow over his dark glasses.

QUACK

“Alright, alright,” He said sitting up and tossing a handful of oats at the mallard who quickly started picking at the grain on the ground.

“So tell me. Have you got ears then?” Crowley questioned.

His inquiry was met with a resounding QUACK and then the mallard returned to the ground.

“I knew you must do,” he said standing and dumping the remaining contents of the bag onto the ground. “Gluttony,” he finished ruefully heading back to the Bentley.

What was he supposed to do now? Was anyone keeping score?

A few frustrated moments later he was back in the Bentley and heading to the most expensive hotel in London. The flat felt tainted somehow since the incident with Ligur and Hastur and he decided it would be time to find another place to call… Home? No, he’d not really had a home since the garden. Another place to sleep. But for now the hotel would be fine and he could stop to check on his plants again tomorrow on his way to the bookshop.

He parked the Bentley outside and walked away without leaving the keys with the valet. Crowley then bypassed the main desk with a snap retrieving the penthouse keys and heading to the elevator. Once he was in the living area which was a bit more plush and ostentatious than he preferred he turned on The Golden Girls with a snap and settled in.


	2. Drunken Debauchery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're enjoying it. More fun to come very soon!

Time slipped away for Crowley as he made it through a huge amount of Golden Girls episodes which he had seen thousands of times. For Aziraphale time seemed to almost creep forward as he struggled to keep his hands and mind busy before his friend would be expected.

He had miracled quite extraordinary amounts of exotic and expensive alcohol representing their favorite varieties from centuries past. He considered that he may have put too much thought into it but he didn’t have time to dwell on that as he realized that he still needed to close up before Crowley arrived and two of the customers in the shop were particularly hard to dislodge on most occasions. That is why on this occasion Aziraphale skipped the human customs and merely performed a small miracle reminding them both that they had quite sudden plans of which they were quite excited to attend to. As the pair of patrons hurried out of the shop Aziraphale locked the door behind them and turned the sign quite confidently to closed. Such barriers wouldn’t stop Crowley (they never had) so he returned to the back of the shop and opened the book that was sitting on his desk next to two empty glasses and a rather exquisite bottle of red. He didn’t remember a single word of what he read and he was a bit startled to heard the bell at the front of the store ring.

“Crowley?” he called out absently still trying to read the words in front of him.

“How goes it Aziraphale? Been busy since the… thing?” Crowley said heading directly for the desk containing the wine.

“Oh very nice,” he said picking it up and glancing across the label before removing his sunglasses. “Shall I pour?”

Aziraphale smiled placing his book down and placing his reading glasses down on top of it.

“Well, I should say that I’ve done a far sight more than you have in the last week,” Aziraphale replied taking the glass Crowley had poured for him.

“That's fair to say,” the demon replied flashing a smile and his snakelike eyes before collapsing into a rather worn chair creating just a small puff of dust around him.

The last dregs of sunlight were peeking through the book blocked windows and glasses were raised as the pair began their celebration.

***

“I still can’t believe… I mean Michael really?” Crowley said laughing a bit louder than he would have about 5 bottles ago.

“I was afr… I mean I thought it might be too much. But YOU…” Aziraphale began. “Breathing fire? I bet they shat themselves,” he said with a giggle and finishing another glass.

“Angel such language!” Crowley chided.

“I’ll have you know my dear I can swear a fair sight better than that. You should have heard me when I was dis… dis… when I went up there,” Aziraphale pointed toward the ceiling as he leaned forward to refill his glass.

A look of horror that Aziraphale missed crossed Crowley’s face as he poured and then the bottle was removed from his hand and finished by the demon.

“I think I’d have liked to have witnessed that Angel,” he said jovially once the bottle was empty. 

There was a beat of silence between the two as Aziraphale melted a little deeper into his chair and Crowley began to pace.

“How did that happen anyway? You got like, a back door around here? I direct line from your mouth to God’s ear?” he questioned picking up a couple of books and looking underneath for some kind of means of communication.

“It’s a… a… sort of circle… thing,” Aziraphale said motioning vaguely toward the rug on the floor that Crowley was walking back and forth over.

He stopped dramatically and threw the rug to the side exposing the means of communication and transportation to heaven. A number of thoughts crossed his mind but in his drunken state, almost all of them flowed away until one got caught and he started to chuckle in a way that was decidedly un-demonlike.

“Crowley. What are you… are you quite well?” he questioned sitting up in his chair a bit.

“Do you know what we should do? Do you know? Oh, brilliant. Candles?” Crowley said pointing with his glass toward a nearby cupboard covered in highly flammable books. 

A small nod from Aziraphale set him into motion. The glass was set down on the floor next to him as he dug out the candles and placed them around the circle lighting them with a snap. It was at this point seeing the joy clearly present on Crowley’s face that Aziraphale sat up and started smiling himself.

“What are you doing you wiley old serpent?” he asked placing down his own glass and struggling from the chair.

“Here, come tell me how it works,” Crowley said helping his rather inebriated friend up and over to the circle.

“Well, you pray. You need to pray to the right um… entity. Who are we calling?” he asked struggling to hold in a little edge of laughter while hanging on to Crowley who was no more steady or sober than he was.

“Oh Lord,” Crowley began causing all the laughter to die from Aziraphale’s lips.

“Crowley…” he said cautiously.

“Lord, Lord are you there Lord? It’s me, Margret,” He said grinning stupidly and inciting another small squeak of laughter from Aziraphale.

“I AM THE METATRON VOICE OF THE ALMIGHTY. BY SPEAKING TO ME YOU SPEAK TO THE ALL MIGHTY!” the voice boomed all around them.

“I think I might,” Crowley began choking on a sob of laughter. “I might have the wrong number. I’m trying to reach an angel. Last name of Huginkiss. First name Amanda,”

“AMANDA HUGINKISS?” the Metatron asked.

Crowley couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The damned Metatron had just asked for Amanda Huginkiss and he was never more proud of one of his inventions than he was at that moment. The prank call was a beautiful thing. He was lost in his amusement when a small voice surprised him.

“Metatron… do you? Do you have Prince Albert in a can? If you do you had better go and let him out!” He finished doubling over with the strain of finishing the joke without breaking into laughter.

The look on Crowley’s face was one of drunken worship and adoration as he looked up to the Metatron again who appeared more than mildly perturbed. The moment caught up with him and he grabbed the closest candle, blowing it out. The glowing face of the Metatron disappeared and he finished blowing out the candles to prevent a repeat of the week before. Once he finished he turned around to see Aziraphale on his hands and knees breathing heavily after the laughter had overcome him.

“Aziraphale, what got into you?” Crowley asked still a combination of shocked amusement.

The angel took a moment to sober up causing a number of the bottles scattered around to fill again.

“Crowley, did we just prank call Heaven?


	3. In The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're off to the races! As always your comments are invaluable!

“How do you even know what a prank call is Angel?” Crowley asked ignoring the question that had been posed to him still blinking his heavily drunken expression away.

“I read it in a book,” Aziraphale replied standing and straightening his jacket. “Please do sober up Crowley. What did we just do?”

“Ssuuure,” he replied allowing a small hiss to escape between his teeth as he sobered up making a painful expression.

“Alright what were you asking?”

“Crowley! You… I mean We… We prank called Heaven! There will be repercussions. They said they’d leave us alone but the deal was expected to go both ways and we’ve just put a… a…” Aziraphale stumbled.

“A kick me sign on our backs?” Crowley offered.

“Quite right,” the angel replied while trying to cover up the circle again. “I should get rid of that thing.”

Crowley shrugged noncommittally and busied himself looking for a bottle of wine that hadn’t been consumed and subsequently refilled.

“Wouldn’t we have been punished already if God or Metatron was upset with us?” Crowley asked giving up and just creating a bottle of whiskey with a light snap of his fingers.

Aziraphale frowned as he finished straightening the rug and returning to where Crowley was pouring the whiskey out for them both.

“It just means my dear boy that they decided not to outright strike us down here. That doesn’t mean that they won’t find other ways,”

“Sit down. Have a drink. And stop worrying about the damned ineffable bollocks of a plan,” Crowley said thrusting the glass across to his friend.

Aziraphale frowned looking at Crowley and then the glass and then back to Crowley. He started to speak twice before giving up and downing the drink. “Another.”

The higher alcohol content and the speed at which they consumed it meant that far less time passed before they were both heavily inebriated. They had started in opposite chairs, had moved to opposite chairs in another room that Crowley had decided to name the Western Gate Room, and finally landed in the main area of the shop that contained a plush well-loved antique couch. The positions they took were that of the bench they occupied in St. James’s Park. However, instead of Aziraphale’s straight and tall position, he found himself with his body slid almost off of the edge in a long straight line. The demon who always took up the majority of the bench in the park was doing very much the same but with one leg casually hung up on the back of the couch. One wrong move and either of them or both would end up occupying the floor. 

“S’at the sun?” Crowley slurred blinking against a dusty stream of light that had found its way into the shop.

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale said in reply allowing his body to ooze down and into a sitting position on the floor.

“I’m NOT ssssobering up this time!” Crowley yelled miracling away the glasses and empty bottles.

Aziraphale looked as his empty hand momentarily confused until he saw Crowley’s head begin to slide off of the couch presenting him upside down over the edge.

“Hiya Angel,” he grinned stupidly waggling his fingers in greeting.

His only reply was a soft snore from the angel which had laid his head back and fallen asleep. Crowley continued the slide down until he could right himself on the floor. He left Aziraphale to his sleep and headed out into the street in front of the shop locking the door behind him with a weak snap of his fingers. He took one look at the car and made the decision to walk instead. The drunkenness certainly wouldn’t last as long as it would plague a regular human body, but he was aware that getting behind the wheel of the Bentley before he had straightened out was bound to end in a dented Bentley and he refused to risk the car like that.

He wasn’t sure where he was headed as he still wasn’t interested in heading back to his flat. Crowley was interested in noting that the sun was too bright and the cars were too loud. So when he saw a dark empty alley he turned and headed about halfway down before letting the cool brick of the building meet his back and he made his way to the ground closing his eyes.

Crowley had no idea how long he had sat there asleep but it had been long enough that the sun had moved and was now streaked down the wall and ground opposite him. He probably would have slept longer had he not heard raised voices that made his head feel like it was imploding. He struggled to his feet realizing suddenly that he had never retrieved a pair of glasses when he left the book shop. He had also managed to leave his coat behind when he wondered out. Crowley struggled to remember how much they had to drink but he only vaguely remembered switching to whiskey at some point, but he couldn’t think over the sound of those voices!

“He looks a bit posh though,” the deeper voice started.

“His clothes are, like, old though. They look… old,” replied the much more shrill female voice.

Crowley suddenly went from annoyance to suspicion as he approached them with a bit more stealth when they paused in the mouth of the alley he had been occupying.

“Listen when I was in that stupid shop I googled the books… I mean a couple of them anyway and they are like literally priceless,” the man said a little more firmly now.

“Then why doesn’t he have like nicer clothes and a house? He sleeps in there remember? You made me watch. Only thing interesting was that snack that wondered in last night,” The woman finished.

Crowley was upon them now knowing exactly who and where they were discussing. Though he was certainly flattered that the woman considered him good enough to eat, he fancied himself more of a meal than a snack.

“Hello,” Crowley addressed them suddenly causing them both to turn on him quickly.

They were frozen looking into his now all-consuming serpent-shaped eyes. Neither of them opened their mouths to speak because all thoughts had essentially been stripped from them.

“The gentleman with the book shop that you were casing? You’ll leave him and the shop alone. If you choose not to heed this warning you won’t live to regret it,” Crowley growled softly.

The pair nodded and took a few steps backward before darting away down the street.

Crowley smiled to himself before leaving the alley himself and heading back toward the book shop to retrieve the rest of his wardrobe.

***

The jingle of the shop bell woke Aziraphale whose head shot painfully upright after being bent back on the couch for hours while he slept.

“Shop… Shop is closed!” he stuttered with an edge of panic looking around him trying to figure out how he got where he was.

“S’okay Angel just me,” Crowley said walking straight past him into the office to retrieve what he had come for. “Where did I leave my sunglasses?”

“Oh,” came Aziraphale’s voice as he stood and looked around the room. “Ah, here!”

The glasses had been left on a stack of books near the rug which now covered the circle that created a direct line to heaven. The circle that they had… “Crowley!”

“What?” he replied in an irritated tone that echoed inside his own head causing him to cringe.

“Crowley, what did we DO?” Aziraphale said holding the glasses out in front of him.

Crowley took the glasses and placed them on his face and then slipped into his jacket which he had found on the floor in the office. He didn’t need it for the weather but it completed his aesthetic. 

“Listen, Aziraphale,” Crowley began. “We’re still here. I was out there for… well hours I suspect and we’re still here. It was a bit of fun.”

Aziraphale worried at the bottom of his waistcoat pulling it down and then adjusting it again giving away why it was so worn and smooth.

“I suppose,” came his reply almost beyond the boundaries of the human ear.

“There, see, all’s right then,” Crowley said clapping the angel on the shoulder as he headed back to the door.

“Mind as you go,” Aziraphale murmered before hearing the bell announcing the demons departure.

He stared at the rug again and decided that it was time to lock the back door as it were. He removed the rug and miracled a mop and bucket of water. He added some soap he had from carefully laundering his own clothes and dumped the flakes into the bucket creating a lather with the mop. With a deep breath, he placed the mop on the circle and began to scrub dilligently. Aziraphale was sure he had removed it all after a number of hours and gallons of elbow grease. With a snap of his fingers, the mop and bucket dissapeared the the floor was dry. Just to make himself feel better he left the rug on the other side of the room to remind himself that he was safe here now. And most importantly it would prevent any debauchery that Crowley might try to later tempt him into.

***

As the day came to a close Crowley returned and came with a bit of a peace offering. He had stopped for take-out from Aziraphales favorite Indian restaurant and brought it over still fresh and piping hot no miracles required.

“I brought curry,” he said simply as he came through the front door of the shop without much thought for the locks.

“Oh! Curry!” Aziraphale replied with the first note of joy that he’d expressed all day.

“So we’re still here and nothing collapsed around us. The curry is fresh and I’m excellent company so sit down and enjoy and stop worrying,” he crowed pulling out a table for them and knocking over a few priceless books.

“My dear boy, really do be careful!” the angel begged approaching the feast which was now laid out for them.

All wrongs were quickly forgotten as Aziraphale tucked in and Crowley shook a bottle of Feni and poured it into his glass.

Their conversation lead down familiar roads discussing and re-discussing the former days of British colonialism in India. It had been one of Hell’s better-hatched plans and though it had finally crumbled the lasting ripples remained. The pair retired to the office leaving the remains of their dinner behind and Aziraphale poured a glass of wine for each of them.

“I’m sorry,” Aziraphale said suddenly.

“Sorry?” Crowley replied feeling the word thick in his mouth and unpleasant.

“I worried about nothing and it was quite silly of me. I don’t even know how real any of it was. We had imbibed a considerable amount of spirits,” he said sipping at his wine carefully.

“Oh, it happened,” Crowley laughed. “The look on the Metatron’s giant floaty head was truly a sight to behold and really, Aziraphale, I had no idea you held that kind of antic in you!”

Aziraphale scowled slightly and opened his mouth to reply when they both froze in place. The sound of a ticking clock deafened them and was comming from everywhere all at once both outside them and within.

When the sound stopped, Crowley and Aziraphale found themselves both quite drunk and once again lounging on the couch.

“What in Heaven was that?” Crowley spat out trying to right himself without kicking Aziraphale in the head with the leg that had been draped over the back of the couch.

Aziraphale also straightened up desperately trying to sober up enough to try and make sense of what had just happened. The demon too pushed himself to sobriety and looked around the room and then back down at his watch.

“I… I think this might be our punishment dear boy. And having only seen it happen once before I fear it could last a very very long time,” the angel said after a few moments of his mind scrambling.

“Punishment?” Crowley said doubtfully. “Inebriation as punishment?”

“Yes, inebriation that we’ve already had. This was not from one glass of wine after dinner.” Aziraphale explained. “This happened yesterday… or I suppose this morning… or rather it’s happening now… again.”

Crowley considered what Aziraphale had said but with a healthy dose of skepticism.

“Again? You what? Think we’re repeating yesterday? We do that to ourselves all the time Angel. It’s called a hangover,” he replied.

“No,” came an irritated sigh. “Crowley the day won't end. We’re going to be living it today, and tomorrow, and the day after that and so on and so forth begatting nothing but the same day over and over again.”

There was a moment of silence while the full impact of what was happening sunk in.

“Fuck,” they breathed together.


	4. Dust yourself off and try again

You would think the next thing they would start figuring out is how to stop the loop from continuing, but instead all Crowley could do was gawp at Aziraphale.

“Who taught you that then?” Crowley said momentarily forgetting everything that wasn’t the swearing angel in front of him. The smirk that planted across his face was one that he’d shown the angel plenty of times before but this one was just a little different.

“Crowley now is not the time,” Aziraphale whined nervously.

“I suppose not,” He replied coming a bit to his senses. “So what do we do? Ride it out? Try to stop it? We don’t have a helpful Antichrist this time.”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t the one who provoked the All Mighty… well, I didn’t start it anyway,” Aziraphale replied worrying at his waistcoat again.

“I think we should ride it out. See how long this is going to last. I mean, it can’t last forever, right? What will the angels and demons be doing while they wait? Or do you think she’s kept them out… or I suppose in the loop? In the loop? Out of it? You know what I’m getting at,” the demon considered glancing over the covers of a few nearby books.

“Well if it’s anything like the last time -”

“You said you’ve seen this before. When? I don’t remember any such thing,” Crowley said returning his eyes to Aziraphale.

“It was quite some time ago. Before the garden. I think it was quite localized though. Mostly… well, I think it was how she punished the fallen for a time. But I don’t think she left it with them… you. Made some of them go quite mad and apparently that wasn’t part of the ineffable plan,” he explained.

Crowley looked concerned and maybe even a little hurt. He retrieved his sunglasses and put them back on while he considered the fact that he had apparently been a victim before, but he had no plans of letting it take the sanity of himself or his companion.

“Aziraphale, Angel. How long did it last?”

“A thousand years,” the angel replied full of guilt and a healthy dose of regret.

“We can keep ourselves busy for a thousand years, right? Can do it on our heads. Just think of all the time you have to try new foods!” Crowley said attempting to be a bit more enthusiastic than he would have been in the past. He hated seeing the look that had carved itself into his best friend’s face.

“I suppose we can try,” he replied after a long tense silence.

“There’s a sport. We’ll see how it goes for a while and then revisit it if we get bored down the line,” Crowley said swinging his jacket across his shoulders and heading for the bookshop door. “Coming Angel?”

***

Aziraphale had remembered the thousand years after the fall. It had been horrible to watch. He didn’t remember Crowley as a particular exhibit but it had all been horrible.

At the time he had believed that it was punishment for the fallen. Now that he was older and hopefully wiser he realized that in fact, it had been a show of strength and a threat if anyone were to start questioning her ineffable will again.

He could only hope that he and Crowley were the only ones aware of the loop. If angels and demons were outside of it and watching there was a possibility that they would all go mad or possibly he and Crowley could just die of embarrassment. Either one was just a likely. But it was the not knowing that turned his stomach into knots.

Oddly Crowley seemed to be taking it exceedingly well and something about it brought a modicum of peace to his heart.

“Coming,” he replied as Crowley headed outside. He grabbed his jacket which had been laid across the arm of the couch they had reawoken on and put it on straightening his tartan bowtie.

Once he met Crowley outside he locked the door behind him and stepped back to look at the shop. On the outside nothing had changed, it was just his shop.

The pair were silent as they walked to the car and got in. For a moment neither of them moved and then Crowley placed the key into the ignition and pulled away.

To Aziraphale’s great shock and relief Crowley followed not only the speed limit but traffic laws. He was incredibly grateful and actually found himself enjoying the ride.

He pointed out the window at a couple of places he’d been meaning to check out and actually allowed himself a small smile.

“We’ve got all the time in the world,” Crowley said a little wistfully.

The entire drive held a heavy air of bittersweet emotions from both angel and demon which they both felt and struggled to ignore.

It wasn’t until they exited the car that the opressive feeling became a little lighter and easier to carry.

“After you,” Aziraphale offered as they prepared to cross the road to St. James’s Park.

Crowley took the lead reaching into his pocket and pulling two small bags out handing one to Aziraphale.

“You promise to let them live this time?” Aziraphale asked doubtfully. 

“I haven’t taken one in months angel and besides if you’re right he’ll be back tomorrow anyway so no fowl as it were,” he grinned.

“Oh, Crowley, that’s terrible.”

***

The rest of the time between them on this day passed simply feeding the ducks and then heading to The Ritz for dinner. They struggled to find anything to talk about and primarily remained firmly in their own thoughts. One thing they both avoided, however, was discussion of their circumstances and alcohol, instead, choosing coffee and cocoa.

As the time approached that had previously sent them back to the couch heavily drunk and overly warm they found places to quietly sit alone in the bookshop quietly hoping that the hour would pass and they would remain where they had placed themselves.

But of course, God was a bit tetchy and not prepared to let them off so easy. So once again they found themselves thickly drunk and nearly falling off of Aziraphale’s old comfortable couch.

“Bugger.”


	5. We agreed to try again

“I can’t be bothered sobering up Angel. Besides no hangover if there’s no tomorrow,” Crowley mused allowing himself to slide onto the floor and then rolling over as if he intended to take a quick nap right there.

“Well, I’m not inclined to waste the day. I plan to start thinking about how to undo all of this,” Aziraphale said as he sobered up and felt a wave of exhaustion that hadn’t been there previously.

“You’re no fun,” Crowley complained sobering up and rolling onto his back. “What makes you think we can stop any of this? You know her… she’s ineffable.”

“I don’t know Crowley, but, maybe if we apologize?” he said desperately.

“Fine, you want to ring them up be my guest. I’ll stay here and watch. Demons aren’t going to apologize to someone who didn’t even give us a chance to ask for forgiveness,” Crowley frowned.

“You’re impossible!” the angel said storming off into his office.

“Angel!” he called after him standing and dusting himself off.

“I don’t want to hear it, Crowley. I don’t want to be stuck here forever and I don’t think you do either. The Lord has mercy let’s throw ourselves on it,” he asked again pleading with his eyes.

“Fine, but you’re the one doing the talking,” Crowley relented putting on his jacket and glasses.

Aziraphale busied himself getting the circle uncovered and lighting the candles. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes standing at the circle and began to pray.

“Hello? Lord? Metatron? Is anyone there?” he began weakly.

They were met with nothing but silence. Crowley rose an eyebrow over his sunglasses and looked at the circle again. It remained empty and silent as Aziraphale began again.

“Is there any higher power available? I’ll speak to anyone who might be available,” he cleared his throat. “Gabriel?”

Crowley’s eyebrows disappeared beneath his hair which had fallen a bit from its typical high quaff. 

“Maybe the line is busy?” he offered.

“No, my dear, that's not how this works. I fear that because we’re in this… loop that the signals don’t line up properly. I hoped that it wouldn’t be the case but I suppose that it’s part of the punishment being cut off from all we know. Strange that we still have our Grace though. Seems she’s not altogether unreasonable,” Aziraphale rambled.

“Yessss,” Crowley said deep in thought and allowing a little hiss to escape from between his teeth.

“Well.”

“Well, indeed Aziraphale. So do you have anything else in mind? We’re truly on our side now. There’s nothing left but us here. I say we take this opportunity to stop keeping score and have a little fun,” Crowley said throwing his arms out dramatically. 

“Fun? I hesitate to consider what you would consider fun,” Aziraphale said blowing out the candles, picking up his jacket and following Crowley to the door.

“Typically quite considerable amounts of alcohol, but we should do that once we have a head start so maybe next go ‘round,” Crowley said heading out the door and across the street to his car.

Aziraphale frowned and considered the possibilities before them. He wanted to do something to surprise Crowley and maybe prove that he isn’t the stick in the mud that the demon thought he was. All kinds of food were out then and a walk in any park would be far too typical of their usual fare.

“Let’s have a game of um… ninepins!” Aziraphale suddenly decided.

“Bowling?” scoffed Crowley. “Bowling?”

“Is that what they call it now? I remember a number of years ago it was illegal in many places. Gambling and all sorts,” he said smiling nervously.

“All right Angel. Let’s go bowling,” he replied starting the engine.

They headed to a place Crowley had been to only once before to meet with the good Lance Corporal for payment of services rendered.

As they walked inside the expression on Aziraphale’s face went from uncertain to bright excitement. Crowley simply watched him with amusement. It had been 6000 years and here he was full of even more surprises.

“It looks American!” Aziraphale said delightedly.

“Retro… well retro for anyone living in this century,” he said mocking his companion lightly.

“Yes well, have you ever done this? I’ve read about it but I have no practical experience,” Aziraphale explained.

“I’ve seen it on television before. We need to get some special shoes though that make us look decidedly unfashionable,” Crowley said approaching the teenage boy at the front desk.

“Two shoes please and balls for us both,” Aziraphale requested.

The boy on the other side of the counter stared blankly for a moment and then suppressed a grin that was threatening to overtake his features. Crowley found himself struggling with the same amusement but was managing to cover it up with a little more grace than the boy had. He was though quite amused with how flustered Aziraphale was looking just now.

Crowley took over the transaction and paid for them to play multiple games and shoe rental. The young man behind the counter pointed at a rack of balls along a back wall telling them to pick whatever they liked and then he went back to whatever he had been doing on his phone before they got there.

It was far more empty than Aziraphale had expected and no one seemed to be particularly inclined toward criminal enterprise. There were even children with their parents participating. But Crowley seemed to be enjoying himself and it put the angel far more at ease as he attempted to pick up one of the balls finding it much heavier than he expected.

“Perhaps one of these?” Crowley suggested motioning to a line of balls that had a sign reading ‘Children’s weights’.

Aziraphale frowned but walked over and picked one up finding it’s weight much more manageable. He hadn’t really picked up anything heavier than a full bottle of wine in much longer than he cared to admit. He picked a rather fetching blue ball that he thought rather matched his eyes. And with a raised head he walked past his companion who was smirking at him rather openly.

Crowley poked around looking at a few different weights but ultimately picked the ball that was a strange red veined black that seemed almost like it had come straight out of the clubs he had frequented in the 1970s.

“After you,” smiled Aziraphale motioning Crowley ahead to the lane they had been given. He tried to ignore that it was numbered 13, but given current circumstance, it seemed an unlikely coincidence.

The pair started slow ending up in the gutter far more than they actually stayed on the lane. They spent a small amount of time watching a couple on a nearby lane who seemed to be quite good at the game and attempted to learn from what they were doing. As much as they both would like to think it helped the score spoke otherwise and they remained just under 100 for 3 games in a row.

They found themselves having easy laughter and conversation while they stumbled through each round. By the time they had decided to stop and try some of the American food that the place offered they realized things had picked up quite a bit around them.

With most lanes filled the lights went down and loud music started to play which caused them to retreat with their burgers and shakes outside to continue their conversation which had ended up reminiscing about what had gone on in Edinburgh all those years previously.

“I skipped the horse you know. I couldn’t deal with the ride. It was absolutely excruciating,” Aziraphale remembered.

“Perhaps now isn’t the best time but I used a cheat coin for that one. There was nothing that could have gotten me on a horse,” Crowley laughed drinking his shake.

“You wily serpent. How many other times did you pull that one?” Aziraphale said not even a little bit annoyed.

“Just the once. Really, horses are the worst. Luckily the humans thought so too,” Crowley said glancing down at his watch.

“Not long now. I really am tired of sobering up. My pick this go,” he finished just as he ended up drunk on the couch again.

“Don’t you dare sober up Angel. We’re going to party.”


	6. If at first you don't succeed

Aziraphale groaned as he stood up and reached for his jacket.

“Nope, none of that let’s take a walk on the wild side. No jackets, no sunglasses, no armor, just alcohol,” Crowley announced grabbing the arm of his friends shirt and leading him out onto the street. “Sod the car, we don’t need cars where we’re headed!”

Aziraphale looked at him confused as Crowley seemed quite amused at his own joke. He then looked down at the grasping fingers at his shirt sleeve and wondered briefly if the wrinkles would come out while simultaneously feeling the heat rise to his cheeks which he blamed on his very sudden attack of drunkenness again.

The pair walked about a block before they found a rather seedy looking hole in the wall which was quite obviously full of regular clientele. Aziraphale cringed slightly looking around but was slightly dismayed that everyone seemed to not only acknowledge Crowley but seemed altogether friendly with him.

“Regular?” the bartender asked.

“Two,” Crowley replied leading Aziraphale to the very back booth which was isolated but also provided a view of the entire bar.

“Crowley, just how often do you come here?” He asked sitting down a little nervously.

“Enough. I mean it was nearby,” Crowley replied nonchalantly. 

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at the demon while managing to look very much like him at that moment. The bartender appeared almost silently beside them and placed two bottles of a particularly good vintage of red on the table.

“Thanks,” Crowley said passing her a small folded handful of cash.

“This doesn’t exactly seem like the kind of place -” Aziraphale began.

“Don’t worry about it. Tell me a story Angel. Tell me what it was like to share a body for a while. I mean I know we could but frankly, the idea never appealed,” Crowley said forgoing the glass and just taking a drink directly from the bottle.

“Crowley! We may be in a bind but that doesn’t mean we should act uncivilized!” Aziraphale said offended while miracling up two glasses for them and filling his own rather full.

“If you must know,” he started after taking a rather unnecessarily large drink. “It was quite… I wouldn’t suggest it. Crowded.”

Crowley gave a disgusted face at the thought and absently poured a glass of wine from his own bottle.

“Yeaaahhh, I think I’ll pass on that. There’s tons I’d like to do while we’re stuck in this, but I can't say as that's one of them,” Crowley said thoughtfully. 

“Maybe take a nice drive to see how far I could get. Maybe walk around London even more exposed than his,” He continued motioning to his uncovered eyes.

“Crowley, you wouldn’t! Nude?!” Aziraphale said clutching at his bow tie as though it were a string of pearls.

Crowley bent over in a painful fit of laughter while Aziraphale looked truly agog at him. After a few calming breaths he finally sat up and replied.

“Wings Angel, wings. Satan even I wouldn't do that to people... unless I was working at a mass temptation,” he added with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Good Lord,” Aziraphale said reproachfully.

“Speaking of her, any other ideas Aziraphale? Or one single, better idea?” Crowley said with a bit of a gently mocking tone.

“One single, better idea,” Aziraphale parroted back childishly.

They both finished their glass and poured the next.

“Well, well, how did it feel to lose a game of… of ill repute to an angel eh?” Aziraphale said.

“What? I didn’t lose! You lost!” Crowley said clearly greatly offended.

“P… pr… prove it,” Aziraphale stuttered before emptying another glass. His inebriated state had increased 10 fold and he knew that at this point he had very little self-control.

Crowley gave an irritated growl knowing that all proof of their games had been wiped away upon reset. They both knew the truth, but there was no way to prove it and Aziraphale knew it… unless they had a rematch which wasn’t likely.

“Bloody Angel.”

A rather smug expression settled on Aziraphale’s features as he sipped gently at the last dregs in his glass.

“So shall we alt… alter… switch days? I’d quite fancy a nip out for crepes!” Aziraphale said fantasizing about the last time the pair had been in France enjoying crepes. They were divine! 

“Ah no not crepes again. I feel like that only gets us into trouble,” Crowley frowned tipping the last drops of wine from his bottle into the glass.

When he set it down quite unsatisfied with how full his glass was, he reached out for Aziraphale’s bottle. Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately), the angel had also just finished his glass and reached to refill it. The pair’s fingertips brushed lightly and Aziraphale pulled away blushing. Without missing a beat Crowley picked up the bottle and filled his companions glass before finishing the bottle in his own glass.

“Crepes,” Aziraphale said simply.

“Alright, then. Crepes. How do you reckon we get these mystical crepes?” the demon asked motioning toward the bar to bring two more.

“We can take… take the boat… the… the boat trolly,” Aziraphale struggled.

“The boat… Okay Angel you’re cut off,” Crowley said snapping his fingers and making the bartender turn around and return to the back room.

“You can’t just -” Aziraphale was interrupted with a hiccup.

“I can and I did. Let’s go. Friends don’t let friends… do stuff,” Crowley said sliding from his place in the booth and finding standing far more difficult than he expected.

“You’re drunk,” Aziraphale said with a little squeak of a laugh.

“You’re drunk,” Crowley said sticking his tongue out childishly as he braced himself on the table and became fully upright.

Aziraphale got to the edge of the booth seat and attempted to stand before falling back on to the seat and laying down laughing and holding his stomach which was rather frustrated with the lack of any solid substance since the day had begun again.

“I’ll stay here too,” Crowley said stumbling as he tried to take a step back toward his seat and missed it gracelessly. He now found himself under the table and joining his companion in senseless laughter.

One or both of them passed out where they laid and one or both of them were quite surprised when the day suddenly started all over and they were somehow less drunk than they had ended up before the loop began again.

“That’s quite enough of that,” Aziraphale said becomming immediately sober.

“That’s tickety-boo,” Crowley replied following suit and getting a weary look from Aziraphale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you'd like them to do next!


	7. Second helpings

“So crepes? Are we headed to Paris then?” Crowley said grabbing his coat and glasses while stretching his neck which he noticed was feeling a bit stiffer this round.

“I told you before-”

“Yes, yes I heard you the last time before I rescued you,” Crowley said waving his hands about dramatically and leading the way out the door.

Aziraphale stopped short and turned back to grab his jacket before heading out and merely ignoring locking the doors. What was the point when no matter what happened it would be back in place the next day… well, the next loop anyway.

“I tried to do the math during the last loop but I’m not sure how well I did considering the state we were in. I believe the drive to the ferry -” Aziraphale began before being snidely interrupted.

“The boat trolly…”

“The FERRY,” Aziraphale emphasized. “It should take us a little under 2 hours. Well if we go the speed limit. Which I must remind you would behoove us considering I don’t know what will happen if one of us discorporates. Then they trip over to France takes about an hour and a half and there's no changing that no matter how fast we go. Overall it will take approximately 6 hours. That should give us just enough time to enjoy a nice dinner and a drink before it happens again.”

“It’s not going to take us 6 hours Angel,” Crowley said grinning and pressing the gas pedal to the floor.

It was mere seconds before Aziraphale closed his eyes and started reciting his favorite Wilde and Shakespeare in place of what Crowley would typically expect to be prayers. The demon said nothing but considered that given what they had both been through and were going through now any prayers would fall upon deaf ears and Aziraphale had seemed particularly affected by what had occurred in Heaven.

“Are we there?” Aziraphale finally said opening his eyes experimentally when the car came to a rest about 30 minutes from when they had driven off.

“We have arrived at the boat trolly,” Crowley said looking forward and driving on to the ferry.

The ferry ride was relatively quiet except for the lucid tones of Queens Greatest Hits that seemed to be coming through the speakers even though the car was not running. Aziraphale looked out of the window of the Bentley arms crossed and realizing that he would never live down his drunken faux pas.

“I see it!” he finally said pointing in front of them. “Crowley do be cautious once we get there.”

“Yes, yes,” Crowley waved clearly annoyed.

He waited impatiently once they arrived as the cars in front of him moved. He was attempting to appease Aziraphale but once the road was more open in front of him he took off at absurd speeds once again causing the angel to clench his teeth and begin his mumbled prayers again.

Aziraphale wasn’t sure how long the trip had actually taken but he was quite certain that it had been nowhere near the projected 6 hours and they now had time for more than just a nip in for crepes and a drink.

“A spot of sightseeing first my dear boy?” Aziraphale suggested.

“What's your pleasure?” Crowley questioned, neglecting to look at the road as they drove.

“Well, when was the last time you saw the Eiffel Tower?” the angel asked.

“Oh I don’t know,” Crowley considered. “I mean probably at the grand opening of the place. I knew him you know? I’m not proud of it but I tried to tempt him into making it more phallic. He was busy with his own temptations though and I found myself unable to sway him.”

Aziraphale gave a bit of a shocked reaction before chuckling lightly.

“Well, I suppose you tried your best.”

“You’re damn right I did! But look I’ll park here and we can have a bit of a walk,” Crowley said pulling the car into an area which clearly did not permit parking.

“One of these days your car won’t be there when you come back,” Aziraphale commented as they walked away from the Bentley.

“Right. I’ll worry about then when we have more days to consider. Shall we?” Crowley motioned ahead to the grassy area in front of the tower.

“This is a fair sight better than it looked when I was here in 1793. I can’t say it smells much better though,” Aziraphale said wrinkling his nose slightly.

“The French have always failed at that one thing in particular. I was the best smelling thing here for almost 50 years and frankly that’s saying something,” Crowley commented blithely.

The pair continued their walk chatting about visits to the country and chose to walk under the Eiffel Tower and gaze up through it instead of heading to the top. As they looked up they could see lovers on every level sealing their visit with a kiss and holding onto each other a little tighter.

“Well, I suppose if they have to repeat the same day over and over again I’m glad they are experiencing this even if they don’t realize it,” Aziraphale remarked.

“But for every one of them someone buries a child or says goodbye to the person they thought they’d grow old with,” Crowley said with a hint of sadness in his tone trying not to give away just how much it actually bothered him.

“Yes, quite,” Aziraphale said returning his gaze to the ground and looking crestfallen.

“Let’s find that restaurant. You think it’s still there?” Crowley said attempting to bring the mood back up.

“Perhaps not. I suppose it doesn’t hurt to try,” The angel replied tightening his lips into a strained smile.

As they got some distance from the Eiffel Tower the mood seemed to lift a bit and they fell into another easy conversation about old acquaintances.

“Honestly Crowley I never stayed around for long. I don’t really care for the country or the people here if I’m being quite truthful with you. But the food,” Aziraphale said with a murmur of pleasure.

“Calm yourself Aziraphale you’re practically salivating. You’ll get it all over yourself,” Crowley protested before getting another look of annoyance which was beginning to soften every time it appeared.

“There it is!” he said pointing at a small little storefront in the alley they were approaching.

They entered the establishment which had been considerably updated since the last time either of them had been there but perhaps not in the last 30 or so years. It seemed like the place to be if you were a local and everyone stopped to look at the pair when they came in. Neither of them seemed to notice though as they sat, ordered and began to enjoy their first glasses of wine.

“Oh I do hope they live up to the memory,” Aziraphale said a bit nervously.

“If we came all this way…” Crowley began. “I’m sure they will be fantastic Angel.

The pair raised their glasses for a silent toast before emptying and refilling their glasses. It was then that their crepes arrived and Aziraphale disappeared into a whole different emotional state.

Crowley, on the other hand, didn’t eat his crepes as much as push them around on his plate. He was getting far more joy out of watching his dining companion enjoy every single bite that he seemed to take as though it was holy communion. While the angel wasn’t looking he miracled away what was on his own plate to appear as though he had participated in it as well. But if he was honest he really hated crepes.

With the last bite gone and the second bottle coming to an end the pair sat back in satisfied silence attempting to ignore the time on the clock beside them.

“Well it’s your turn next I suppose,” Aziraphale finally said.

“Mmm? Oh, yes I suppose you’re right. Perhaps we should go for a drive?” Crowley suggested.

Aziraphale smiled weakly.

“It is your turn to decide…”

“Yesss it issss,” Crowley hissed drunkenly on the couch.


	8. You had me at again

“Sober up Angel and get in the car! We’re going to the talkies,” Crowley teased after sobering up himself but before heading into the office to grab his coat and glasses.

“The talkies? Really, my dear boy, I like books but that does not mean that I haven't taken in a moving picture show.”

“Sure, sure,” Crowley dismissed opening the door and waving a hand indicating that Aziraphale should exit first. It wasn’t an altogether abnormal gesture but for a demon it certainly was.

Once they got in the car Crowley sped off but at only about half of his normal pace. It seemed that even he was now having second considerations of the dangers of discorporating during the loop. 

“What are we going to see then?” Aziraphale asked only holding on to his seat instead of the dash and the door as was often the case.

“I’m not sure. We’ll see what is up when we get there.”

The theater they ended up at was slightly run down and seemed like more of a place you would go to for seedy midnight showings instead of an early day film of any sort. And indeed the options were quite limited but Crowley chose something called ‘Heaven Help Us’. A look of ironic recognition passed between them but they could both agree that the other two offerings ‘Bitch Killer 5’ and ‘Todd’s Tots’ were certainly not going to be to their liking.

“What is ‘Rom-Com’?” Aziraphale asked looking at a poster for the film as they walked inside.

“Romantic Comedy. Prepare to be moved and amused Angel.”

The pair ordered popcorn, an obscenely large soda and had picked up a few boxes of candy for good measure. It certainly wasn’t the usual menu for either of them but it smelled delicious and they (well Aziraphale) couldn’t wait to dig in.

The theater was almost totally empty barring a couple that was sitting in the last row in the darkest corner of the theater.

“Best avoid the love birds,” Crowley nodded toward them.

Aziraphale saw them then and noticed that one of them had a hand resting quite far up the thigh of their companion and he blushed quite a ridiculous shade of red.

They sat down near the middle of the theater just as the lights when down and the movie began. The first bite of the popcorn was divine. It was almost soggy with butter but Aziraphale would later claim it reminded him of the texture of butter poached lobster.

“I do say this is rather exciting. I had no idea it was such an experience!” Aziraphale said at a normal tone as the previews started.

“SHHHHH!” came a hiss from the back.

“You’ll have to whisper or most people I believe prefer if you keep your commentary for the dinner that typically follows a viewing,” Crowley explained with the hushed tones of someone who had been to movies in the last century.

That garnered merely a nod and they both started enjoying the popcorn as the previews ended and the movie began. They seemed to alternate dipping int the popcorn bucket seamlessly, never risking a glancing blow of hands.

_“Dinner? Are you tempting me, Joey?”_

_“Maybe, just a little.”_

The on-screen relationship was just beginning but Crowley found himself somewhat uncomfortable in his seat.

_“It seems like no matter where I go you’re always there to catch me. You’re there to rescue me. But… You’re just moving too fast for me.”_

Aziraphale stopped halfway to his mouth and dropped the piece of popcorn he’d been holding. He looked down and struggled to recover whispering a quiet nervous “Butterfingers.”

_“We can just forget all of this! Who is stopping us?”_

_“We can’t just run off. Nowhere is safe! We might be two sides of the same coin but we’re still on different sides!”_

Both the angel and demon watching now found themselves simultaneously engrossed and repelled by what they were seeing on screen. But something they both could be sure of is that looking at each other or reaching over for more popcorn or a drink of soda was not going to happen.

_“Don’t you know? Are you really so blind and stupid? I’ve loved you all these years. Not just loved you but been IN love with you. You’re the reason I wake up. But You’re better than all that. You’re better than me and you deserve better…”_

_“There’s only ever been you. There will always only be you. Didn’t you see?”_

The moment on screen was sealed with a kiss as a rather loud moan slipped from the pair in the back row. Aziraphale blushed fiercely and Crowley adjusted his position in the seat to angle away from his companion.

The movie ended as many do with a silly wedding with a ridiculous first dance. Once the credits began to roll Crowley stood up silently and headed down the row to exit the opposite theater door from the one they had entered. Aziraphale without another thought left behind the candy which had remained untouched and the half-eaten popcorn that now gave him a small feeling of anxiety when he thought about them sharing it.

“Thoughts on dinner?” Crowley asked still refusing to meet Aziraphale’s glance.

“It’s your choice today remember. You can take me anywhere you like,” the angel replied before realizing what he had said. His eyes went wide and Crowley coughed slightly before sliding into the car.

***

Aziraphale had many favorite places to eat but typically Crowley just preferred a good drink. But feeling the waves of anxiety from the seat next to him made him decide that the only reasonable place to go was The Ritz.

“You’re in luck Sirs a table for two just opened up!” The host said leading them to their table.

“Fancy that,” Aziraphale mused.

As they sat at the table with the menus only Aziraphale bothered looking at it. He had probably memorized it by this point but he always insisted on looking anyway and when the waiter arrived he ordered a few plates of his favorite things. Crowley, on the other hand, had one request.  
“I want a bottle of the strongest proof of anything you’ve got.”

“Right away sirs!” The waiter replied taking their menus and heading off.

“I didn’t think the move was bad enough to call for that Crowley but it certainly was no Shakespeare.”

Crowley attempted to prevent himself from glaring across the table. His thoughts were so preoccupied elsewhere he found himself struggling with his human demeanor.

The pair sat in an awkward silence which was very uncommon for them and it didn’t break until the booze and appetizers arrived.

Crowley took the initiative to pour and finished his first glass before Aziraphale had even finished his first bite of food. He poured his second glass and nursed it considerably slower as the first seeped into his bloodstream… or whatever it was the made angels and demons drunk.

“I say, are you quite alright?” Aziraphale asked sitting down his fork on the edge of his plate.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about this loop thing. I feel like there has to be a way out other than just time. But God does like her games,” he answered brooding into his glass.

“Quite.”

The pair remained silent as they drank and ate. They noticed the time slipping by and both considered how wasted it was in their silence but neither knew quite what to say. When they had finished eating and had topped off a second bottle of whatever they had been drinking they walked outside still in silence and headed toward St. James’s park. The day was nearing a close but they had nowhere else in mind to go. It was as if their feet led them there of their own free will.

“Do you remember being here in 1862?” Crowley asked suddenly.

“Yes, I remember,” Aziraphale replied with caution. It had been quite the sore spot during their… Fraternization.

“Yeah me too.”

The pair continued their silent walk heavy with memories of 6000 years. They were still walking when the loop started again and their drunken positions on the couch seemed somehow even more uncomfortable than before.

“Guess this one’s mine,” Aziraphale said struggling to find sobriety once again.


	9. Together apart

“Not today Aziraphale.”

Crowley stood, grabbed his things and walked out of the shop without another word. Aziraphale sat uselessly on the couch staring after him. 

“Crowley…”

But minutes had passed and it was clear that he wasn’t returning. Aziraphale had no idea what had triggered such a reaction but he found himself still a little drunk and mourning the loss of someone he knew he’d see again in this very room on this very couch just a few short hours later.

His mind drifted back to the film and he pushed himself to sober up completely. He wasn’t going to be any use to Crowley during the continuing loops if he was lost in old memories of missed opportunities.

He cleared a place on one of the many desks that were littered about his office and went through his inventory pulling a number of religious texts he had acquired over the years. If there was an answer to ending what had happened he hoped they would be in one of these books. The angel sat down and began to read letting slip a silent prayer for the safety of his friend.

***

“Bloody stupid loops and bloody stupid films!” Crowley shouted walking down a heavily crowded London street.

A woman pulled her child away from him and an older man tutted at the language he had used. What did it matter? What did any of it matter?

It had been a very long 6000 years and he realized he had so many more regrets than one should have after such a life. He slipped into a liquor store and bought a bottle of something that was closest to his right hand when he walked in the door. After paying with money that had appeared in his hand from thin air he took his bottle in its trademark paper bag and headed back outside.

He took a long angry drink before even stepping away from the door and considered just taking up residence on the sidewalk. But the longer he stood there the more people he saw smiling and laughing. Crowley found that he really wasn’t in the mood for such displays and ended up heading back to his own flat.

For a moment he hesitated at the door to the building wondering if Aziraphale would come looking for him. But what he thought was his rational mind told him that the angel didn’t care and he wouldn’t bother coming. That decided he stepped inside and took the elevator to the top floor and with a snap entered his apartment. He had keys somewhere but it wasn’t important now.

The door slammed behind him and he finished the bottle tossing it at a garbage can in the kitchen. He looked at the cupboards and realized that there was no food and alcohol of dubious quality. He decided dubious was kind of his thing and opened the first bottle wincing at the tart smell.

“Bottoms up.”

***

“And the LORD gave unto them 7 days to collect the wheat that had grown before the raiders arrived.”

The scratch of a pen to old textured paper echoed through the room. The scroll that Aziraphale had been writing notes on was unrolled onto the floor to provide a maximum amount of writing space.

He had found numerous mentions of loops or extended periods of time that would only be for certain people through the past 6000 years but they all had been told very specific amounts of time at the start of their situations or so they wrote it down in their books.

One glaring issue he kept running into though was that these were all blessings onto humans giving them more time and ability to complete tasks or live their lives before death. None of the stories he had come across spoke of the all mighty punishing people in this way.

To his trained eye, Aziraphale knew either that meant they were a special case along with the fallen or no one had ever lived to tell about their time. No matter how he looked at what he had found absolutely nothing looked positive and he dreaded coming back to Crowley with this information.

So he took another book from the shelf and opened it turning gently through the pages out of habit but picking up speed as he went.

“Lord please give me some insight.”

***

Crowley considered turning on the television but he wanted to save that in case he was still around in a few hundred loops and needed to start watching every channel to remain entertained and sane.

The last bottle of wine he had found behind a stack of plates he didn’t remember ever using was empty and he didn’t feel any better. 

The urge came suddenly to yell at his plants. By his count, it had been days since they had been properly trained but he had no idea if that was the same for them or if they were outside this ridiculous loop.

But as soon as he stood in front of them with the misting bottle and saw them begin to quiver he knew he didn’t have it in him. He didn’t want to yell at the plants. He had better targets.

Crowley placed the misting bottle down a little harder than was necessary and walked outside on to his private balcony. The day looked the same as it had the day before and the day before that and he knew it would look the same tomorrow.

“Again, just for the record. We were having a bit of fun. Weren’t you supposed to leave us alone? Didn’t we pass your damn tests?” he yelled out into the ether around him.

“At least let him go! I started this. It was my idea. ARE YOU LISTENING?”

Silence greeted him as he waited for a reply watching the colors in the sky changed as the hours passed. He waited and waited until the sun had disappeared the stars marked the arrival of a new loop coming.

***

The pair both realized they had been defeated and hung their heads as the inevitable time came and when they looked at each other on the couch the apologies didn’t need to be spoken. The words were there even if they weren’t prepared to speak them.

“Where to Angel?”


	10. Plant therapy

“How about we sober up, or try, I had quite a time with it last go. Then I think we should head to the Chelsea Physic Garden. I haven’t been there since probably the 1700s,” Aziraphale picked up his jacket and put it on trying to stretch out the kinks and remaining hints of drunkenness.

“Bored with St. James’s then?” Crowley asked and then followed him to the door with his jacket and sunglasses in hand.

“No, not at all I just thought a change of scenery might be nice considering we have the time.”

With the destination set, they slid into the car and made their way toward The Thames.

“I seem to remember they had quite an exceptional selection of flora. I know your plants are a breathtaking sight,” he looked up at the demon from under his eyelashes. “Perhaps you could teach these plants a thing or two. Show them how to become exceptional.”

Crowley remained silent as he found a place to park and contemplated not only the angel’s suggestion but his reasons behind it. All this managed to accomplish was providing an edge of a headache which was probably left over from their attempts at sobering up.

“What kind of plants are we talking about? Because if it’s flowers, that’s not really my thing Angel.”

“Well, I’m sure there are flowers but I’m more interested in the other varieties there. They have a whole garden dedicated to edible plants and one that is good for making medicines. It’s quite fascinating and to think they started this garden in the early half of the 1600s!” Aziraphale recited from memory.

Crowley was finding himself slightly more interested as they walked in the front gate, but when he saw one particular signpost his attention was captured.

“Carnivorous plants. They have an area for carnivorous plants? In this climate?”

His glasses slipped down his nose as he looked between the sign and Aziraphale. He headed toward the back of the garden with a direct purpose. The angel smiled as he trailed behind. His plan to distract and cheer up Crowley was working even better than he had hoped. With a small gesture, he made the area in and around the carnivorous glasshouse devoid of people who had suddenly remembered they had other things to get to.

They reached the correct glasshouse and Crowley walked around both sides of the front admiring the architecture.

“Ah, Victorian. Original from the looks. Minor restoration and what's been done is quite good,” Crowley stopped upon realizing that the angel was staring slack-jawed in amazement at him. “Or so it seems anyway…” 

“Yes, it does seem so…”

They walked inside and were hit with stifling wet heat. Both of them removed their coats and Aziraphale even found fit to unbutton his waistcoat. They walked past a few cacti and made it to the carnivorous plants.

There was a tense silence as Crowley scrutinized the plants and Aziraphale scrutinized him. He really was a nice person but he wasn’t about to say it this time. He learned his lesson the last time.

A long half an hour passed and finally, Crowley spoke.

“I don’t there there's much I could do here if I’m honest. These plants are doing a fantastic job. Must be the amount of protein. Fascinating.”

Aziraphale noted a smaller one over to the side on it’s own.

“What about this fellow? He looks like the runt of the bunch.”

Crowley picked up the small potted plant and admired it watching the tilt of its leaves away from the light and realized it was definitely going to need some work. When he replaced it he turned it in order to make sure it got the most necessary light. 

“Grow better,” He growled menacingly.

Aziraphale smiled pleased with the look of satisfaction that had planted itself on his friend's features.

They finished browsing the other plants in the glasshouse and headed back outside, where after being in the heat was quite chilly. Crowley put on his coat immediately giving a little shiver. His cold-blooded side didn’t care much for the abrupt change.

“Anything else you wanted to do while we were here? I know we didn’t just come for me to yell at some meat eaters.”

“Well, I thought we might look through the edible plants and make a detour through the gift shop on the way out. After all, I’ve heard they started selling a very expensive and very exclusive gin,” Aziraphale smiled.

“In that case, lead the way!”

The walk through the useful and edible plants wasn’t nearly as delicious as Aziraphale had hoped and he said so.

“I rather thought we might be able to sneak a bit of a treat but I see that we’re offseason for pretty much everything tasty.”

“I suppose we’ll be forced to get completely plastered on an empty stomach then. At least it will make the whole process a lot faster.”

“And cheaper,” Aziraphale added coyly.

“And cheaper.”

The woman behind the counter had been a bit shocked as they came to check out with both of their arms full of bottles of gin. She actually called her manager just to make sure there was no limit on purchase.

When they turned to leave Crowley lagged behind a moment and put a handful of cash in the tip jar. He knew it wouldn’t be there when the day started over but what was it that humans said? It was the thought that counted?

Aziraphale had felt the emotional shift behind him and carefully glanced back to see the affectionate gesture and he smiled to himself. He really truly was a nice person regardless of what he said to the contrary.

***

During the car ride back a discussion broke out about continuing the theme of a change of scenery. So instead of drinking at the book shop, they headed to Crowley’s flat. It had been only 7 calendar days since they had been here learning how to best imitate one another but it had been a few more actual days but neither of them remembered just how many it had actually been. That realization alone was enough to start drinking off quickly. Even Aziraphale had skipped his usual insistence of tumblers and had dove straight into the bottle and onto the most uncomfortable couch.

“You’re sure you can’t remember?” Crowley gave away the fear in his tone and was being far more forthcoming than was typical.

“I… I can’t. It’s been a few though right? I can’t seem to remember everything we did. Oh dear.”

“In 6000 years I never lost track of time. Weeelllll, not really ya know?” Crowley took a rather long and painful drink from the bottle.

“Yes. I’m rather feeling in the same position. I can tell you have I ate on a Tuesday in 44 BC but I can’t tell you how many times we’ve woken up on that couch.”

They both drank a bit more before attempting to have any thoughts again.

“Do you think the whales might know?” Crowley sat forward suddenly.

“Whales?”

“Big brains whales. And we saved them din’t we? May… may… they could have an idea.”

Aziraphale struggled to look through the drunken haze to the demon across from him. Hadn’t they had a conversation about whales before?

“Do you speak whale?” he asked.

“Oh. I sssspeak sssssnake though!”

“Crowley where are you going to find a snake in this loop or any other?”

This brought the train of thought to a standstill. They both continued to drink hoping to find the answer at the bottom of the bottle. But time as often was the case was unkind and before they said another word the loop had begun again and they had sobered considerably from where they had left off.

“A ZOO! They have snakes at the bloody zoo!” Crowley slid off the couch.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Ineffable drunken prank call](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21820129) by [capricorne11](https://archiveofourown.org/users/capricorne11/pseuds/capricorne11)




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